Let her go
by brittanapower
Summary: After the break-up, Santana is having a hardtime. She keeps telling herself it was for the best.


A/N: I do not own glee nor this song. If I did, brittana wouldn't have broken up.

After 4x04. Rated T for language. Elaine-Santana friendship.

_Staring at the bottom of your glass_

_Hoping one day you'll make a dream last_

_But dreams come slow and they go so fast_

It's been a while now. You were starting to get used to this break up thing. Well... sort off. Maybe this constant amount of alcool you've been consuming recently has been helping.

Mr. Morgan, the bar man in this dark pub you've been hanging out already knows you. He knows your face, and he knows basicly everything about you're life, from the come out to the break up.

The routine is, comming here, ordering a few beers, maybe something a bit stronger, try to forget the pain.

What the hell were you thinking about when you broke up with her? She'd be better off without you. She was feeling apart, and the distance was only hurting her even more. She needed someone by her side to confort her, and you weren't there. You weren't even able to skype her at the times you agreed to thanks to your practices and homework.

Are you happy now? No. You're desperate. Because it's better to have something, no matter how far away it is, than having nothing. You miss her, and she's all you can think about, especially once the alcool starts running through your veins.

She's so special. And it wasn't easy getting to where you were. You had to go through a process of acception. You had to accept yourself, be able to verbalize it and then be accepted by everyone else. Of course, the Abuela situation hurt as hell, but you're over it. She was worth it.

She was a dream. Your relationship was a dream come true, something you waited for for such a long time, and once it was real, you thought it would never end.

Of course, the whole "I'm moving to Louisville" thing didn't help much. And now, when you look back, the time you were together, wasn't enough, even though you were together 24/7.

So you start thinking. Is this how relationships work with you? You're 18 years old, and you've only been in a real relationship once. You've only been in love once. And it was tough getting there, and it ended so fast. Will you ever be able to make something last?

You've lost everything. Your routine, your friends, Brittany. Your life, basically. You want it back. But where should you start? You could quit college, move to NY, follow your dreams... No, that's too riscky. You don't have what it takes to make it in the big apple. You could try to get Brittany back...

But then again, should you? she's getting back on her feet, finally. The whole Britney 2.0 fase is over, she's moving forward, you can see it on her FB page, you can feel it in her voice whenever you ocasionally speak on the phone.

So, maybe you shouldn't. Maybe this is just the way things are suposed to be.

_Staring at the ceiling in the dark_  
_Same old empty feeling in your heart_  
_'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast_  
_Well you see her when you fall asleep_  
_But never to touch and never to keep_  
_'Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep_

You walk home. You greet your roommate and sit on your bed.

She isn't that bad, considering the horribly anoying girl who could have assigned as your roommate. She actually became your friend. Elaine.

After a some time, you were able to open up. You told her about yourself, you told her you were gay and she was totally cool with it. She didn't panick nor asked for a new partner. After it she started beeing more careful while changing but even that is gone. She's the closest you have to a best friend.

You told her everythin about Brittany. About how you've been is love with her for only God knows how long, about how you were shit to her and kept her as your dirty little secret, about how you were outed but ended up having the best year of your life. And, of course, you told her about the break up. About how much it hurt you to see that she felt "left behind"; about how you realised that keeping her away from having fun in her senior year, spending it with her friends or, who knows a boyfriend/girlfriend who wasn't miles away from her, who could see her everyday made you feel like shit.

So, when you sit on your bed, looking depressed as usual, Elaine speeks up.

"You've been drinking again"

When you don't respond nor look at her, she speaks again.

"Santana, ehen I first met you you were a fun and interesting person to be around. Ever since you went to Lima you've been walking around like a zombie. Look, I understand this break up is hard for you, but you did it yourself. You broke up with her. It's been a month, you should start moving on, hanging out." She smiles and waves her hand in front of you, trying to catch your attention. "What do you say we go out tonight. We call Ashley, Stephanie and some of the other girls and have some fun. You've already got some alcool in you so you won't even need to spend that much money tonight!"

You shake your head "I really don't feel like it. But you should go, I wouln't mind beeing alone for a while."

"Santana..."She breaths out.

"I mean it." You answer furmly.

You grab your laptop and start scrolling down your old facebook pictures. Oh, happy days. You watch as Elaine walks around the room, getting ready to go out. After about 20 minutes, when she's about to leave, she insists "Are you sure you don't wanna come? It would be fun-"

"I'm sure" you inturrupt "I'll just get some sleep, I guess"

"whatever" She walks out of the room, looking disapointed and closes the door.

You exale slowly. You lay down and look up. God, how you miss Brittany. But Elaine's right. You need to move on and stop thinking so much about all of it.

You close your eyes, and ocean blue pupils are all you see. Every night you dream about her. About those eyes. How they were filled with tears, bacause of you. "It was for the best" you reasure yourself, and try to drift away to sleep.


End file.
